Mowing down psychological tall grass and tangled weeds; clearing the field and planting new seeds. Thoughts lifted from my angry days, when someone asks my opinion and then denies it. If I tell you my favorite color, who else would have the "right" answer? Challenge it, oppose if you must, but to correct it is to erase my existence. If we all had the same thoughts, there would be no need for democracy. Cogito Ergo Sum.


I'm still in the FAQ - do they have any idea

how it feels to be a poster child for how atheists are welcome at their site, and almost ten months after they closed the door, still have me listed as proof that atheists are tolerated?

Well, Joe - it's the way you reacted that caused the problem.

yes - re - acted. If you have the courage and the time, look at my diaries from beginning to end - you can start with the one linked to in the FAQ - i only started to change my tune about August of 2009 when one particular blogger broke their own rules (Don't be a jerk or a hater) and nobody called them on it.

Oh, sure - privately they said things like "well, Joe seems rather sensitive, so you best treat him special" - but nobody paid any attention to the routine manner in which he belittled other religions, in particular atheism - and most sadly for me, the guy who invited me to Netroots pointed out that "proselytization is not appreciated and is considered bad taste"

Want to hurt somebody's feelings other than mine? Specifically count the number of biblical verses in JCHFleetguy's posts - in particular, the number of posts per diary/comment - and get back to me.

This was not about building community, or progressive politics - he's a self-professed political Conservative and even whined about how it was not easy for a Conservative at a self-described liberal website.

And that's why I snapped. I saw him in my diaries over and over; it was always chapter and  verse, or this absurdist argument that everyone has faith.

he'd screw around with the definintion of faith, like Conservatives screwedd around with the defininton of torture or "freedom" - and that would be the same thread over and over.

SO the link I put to his comment - "anyone without faith would be a suicide victim"  - is either an egregiously offensive say to someone months after the person he said it to told him in no uncertain terms that no, John, I - snafubar - do not have faith. I don't want it, it gives me no peace, and yhou have substituted "confidence in things I can understand" for "blind faith in things that can never be explained" - you have ignored the difference and then said "well there's no way I'll come around to your definitions"

And nobody banned him.

he even wrote his own rules for what cookies/troll markers mean - like I said in other threads I sure hope for his sake that he does not start interpreting traffic signals by his own rules. When George Carlin talked about "my brother drives like this" - it was a joke - John still does things his way and simply dismisses standard, agreed upon, conventions.

But in the end, this will always be a blog (my blog) that proves that they simply did not care if I lived or died.

They cared about the liability if the last thing that I wrote or talked about on Earth before i went through with it was on their blog - because that would be too difficult to plausibly avoid cause/effect. This is why I make no apology. If another soul like mine came along tomorrow, based on their lack of culpabilty for how I wound up changing my attitude, they'd simply play the game the same way again, and someone

you know this, I know this, the statistics bear this out

Someone else will pull the trigger - either on themselves or whoeever cannot get out of the way.

And because I even brought that up, they'll say Im "threatening" = but lets' go one step further -

so even if I was - they'd ignore the threat and plow forward.

Tha'ts not about me - that's about kicking me out because I violated site rulese about being a "jerk" or a "hater" - but like Danish Brethren called me a "terrorist" for saying that if I'm in pain it inspires and fuels my anger, if I say that I'm using it as a weapon.

Got it?

If they hurt me, telling them is to use my pain as a weapon.

If I  hurt them, they slam the door.

Thirty thousand suicides a year. More than homicides - did you even realize?

And they'll do it all over again.

I see no evidence that they would change anything.


Sequana said...

I never read their blog, but what you say over here makes much sense to me.

However, you are still hanging on to it. Is it possible for you to let it go and get involved somewhere else? It's eating you up.

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